to be quite frank, this year has really kicked me while i've been down. it has been a tough go of it. for many, complicated reasons. something that was a really big deal for me went absolutely WORST CASE SCENARIO. worst case scenario. and there was nothing i could do about it. and the event itself has dragged on for about three months—it's finally over. you know how your arm gets really tender and sore after a tetanus shot? that's kind of where i'm at, emotionally.
it's may, and i finally, today, feel as if i can kick this funk to the curb. i wanted to share a list of some of the things that have brought me a little joy during this very rough patch. so maybe they can do the same for you, and mostly because i don't want to forget them.
carol & julie singing 'a boy like that/i have a love' at carnegie hall
i've never seen footage of julie so young! and what a perfect duet that plays to both of their strengths. it's absolutely breathtaking.
river of dreams
i have always loved billy joel, but it wasn't until sometime in february that i realized 'river of dreams' was his last album. (annoying people will bring up the fact that he wrote some classical piano music since, but he wrote it for someone else to perform—not the same thing. also, i'm young, and all of this music was released before i was born, probably why i'm realizing the chronology so late in the game.) after i found this out i was absolutely floored. listening to it again after knowing that truly was like listening to a different work of art. how incredible and also how absolutely devastating. if you have the chance, read about the making of the album/what was going on in billy's life at the time. such a profound swan song.
i don't have much to say because i still haven't found the words to articulate. but i was so moved by this film. it breaks my heart (and honestly, makes me a little angry) that there was so much backlash by people who hadn't even seen the movie. i think it's my favorite film so far in 2018. there are some major ways it doesn't apply to me—surprise, i'm not a mom! but it made me feel less alone in the heaviest parts of life (and depression).
i'm sure i will think of more as soon as i publish this, but i wanted to write down some of the things that have cushioned my heart a little over the past few months (which were so hard on it).